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se mettre a chanter (ipad songs 2)

by Carmen Loretta

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1.
Walking 03:51
that stranger just called me beautiful, call it a cat call, but i feel pretty. it may have just been the sunlight on my face, but i feel pretty, yes, i feel pretty. and it's better than I felt this morning and its better than i felt when i closed the door and it's better than i felt when i yelled out, "baby if you loved me you would tell me more!" when all along i've been the one to turn and face the wall so no, no, I won't reject your cat call. that heron just slowed it's flight for me, call it mother nature but he feels pretty. he may have just been following his prey, but he feels pretty, yes, he feels pretty. and it's better than i felt this morning and it's better than i felt when i missed that stair and it's better than i felt when i yelled out, "baby if you loved me you would show me you cared!" when all along i've been the one knee deep in dirt, so no, no, i won't reject you mother nature oo, see that man up ahead? i think he's stepping right so you can avoid a puddle, oo, take it in stride, he's pushed you aside. he's out for the one, you're out for yourself, you're out for the one, he's out for himself.
2.
Light 03:12
let me sing you a song of light, let me sing it to you now just when it seems like everything is washed up, sun comes pouring in through red curtains. on the tv watch another volcano erupt, i'm dancing in the light of red curtains singing in the light of red curtains stretchin in the light of red curtains weathered hands, wedding bands, ooh light nervous laughter, knowing glances, ooh light brighten up my morning, move across my evening walls light the power that you're holding, i'm responding to the call light, light, light, light, ooooo i've watched those documentaries and read the books, sun comes pouring in through the windshield. heavy on my heart and eyelids our earth being shook, i'm squinting in the light of the windshield learning through the light of the windshield giving in to the light of the windshield
3.
4.
isn't it always bach who will save the day? he seems to play upon my spine each vertebrae, tenuto. don't mind me if i miss some of what you say, there is beauty in each cadence, mm, legato not usually one for escape but these grocery aisles are glamorous, you said you'd put on the breaks and i fill my cart with chocolate. i know it's awful bad taste, to leave in the middle of a game, but i couldn't stand the rules. i'm listening to johann, i'm listening to bach, he dedicated his life's work to god and it's all that i've got. call it a fight, call it a fugue but whats important is the melody rang true, you think i'm slowing you down, but no one ever died from a little rubato, i know it's awful bad taste to leave you hanging (open 7th with a dissonant ring) call me Bela Bartok! some other composers tried to do the same, but the well tempered clavier calls my name
5.
she said i really hate her, i said why don't you kill her? she did not bat an eyelash, she said i'll just unfriend her she said i really hate him, i said why don't you kill him? she said, i couldn't kill him I GOT HIM! i'm sorry, i'm playing this game you and i lean in for a kiss but our lips won't touch, it says you're typing but you ain't saying much we'd call on the phone but we found the connection to real you won the level, but there is no victory in defeating all these little birds i'll be on the other side, awake while you're asleep i'll be on the other side oh you're soul to keep she said i really want it, i said can you afford it i knew, just as well as she, none of us has any money she said i promise to pay you back, of course she wasn't talking to me, she was making some final plea, to an automated credit machine see what you've done to me, i've lost all my senses the neighbours won't smile at me, is this what you could call progression
6.
7.
Cold Case 04:47
missing woman missing man, can you hear me calling? i'll take my search in the wood don't know if i should it's been 6 years since the paper ran the story missing face, i've the interest and the query, solving your cold case marco polo what can be found goes round and round they ran off into that bog together, leaving no evidence, not a trace, no one expected their misadventure, actually fantastic escape ten tabs open in my browser, searching every status post, i'll give everything to find you, locating your ghost. interest lies in fascination, i too long to disappear, something here is suffocating, something very near. breaking down past mr. lowrys farm, ten minutes outside of town. i am a barn cat out in the sun, nobody is around
8.
i’m driving into a fog of white, my driver will decipher wrong from right, i’ve given up on intuition, trusting my senses just never made sense. ink to the paper, i sign my will, my lawyer not much older than your brother, still, i get a good feeling when you look over and give me the nod. (you seem to say) it’s all okay sarah, we’ve got the wheel it’s all okay sarah, we know how you feel it’s all okay sarah, we’ve got good news here’s 15 quick ways to cure your blues the money, the wealth, it kept me young, i bought my success i was underneath the thumb of all things synthetic, i’m closing the curtains taking my valium. i’ve scheduled my exit, master planned by the corporation in which we stand, oh i’ve made all the necessary appointments, i’m calling the services to cancel my phone (and when i’m frightened you say)
9.
Little Mind 03:08
there is a woman who lives within the walls of my apartment (tucked between the drywall in with the insulation) when my head hits the pillow, i can hear her crying (or was that over time in dream department, or was that cedar beams creaking) i can feel her scurrying around in the wall behind my bed (left and right what a fright running around) i’ve got a feeling she’s sharing my secrets, little does she know i’m smart to her game i went and told everyone all of my regrets, and now nobody will look at me the same there is a portrait of mona lisa on the wall beside the window (no matter where i sit she’s always looking, the woman is a fascination) she is asking to come with me, but i tell her she must stay on the wall (sun or rain its your pain the wall is your domain she’s staring me down with a face so plain) i make plans to take her down, turn her around and let her look outside
10.
Precipice 03:40

about

These songs were all created between October and February of 2014-2015. I go back and forth on what they mean to me, but I guess at their core they are about me learning to give in and let creativity lead. Letting go of control and seeing where I end up! I listened almost exclusively to Kate Bush, Oneohtrix Point Never, Bach, Ariel Pink, and Devo through this season, and I feel like it's pretty evident.

credits

released July 21, 2015

all songs created and played and mixed and danced about to by me, iPad in one hand, singing into a headphone microphone, would you look at that! it's 4am again.

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Carmen Loretta Vancouver, British Columbia

even if it never leaves my living room, it's still music

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